July 04, 2005

Jabba The Drunk Kennedy slams unnamed SCOTUS nominee-to-be

Scrappleface has the details (albeit tongue-in-cheek details) of Senator Ted Kennedy (Boozer-MA) and his verbal attacks on the as-yet-unnamed person to be named by President Bush to replace retiring Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor.

Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-MA, today criticized President George Bush's as-yet-unnamed replacement for retiring Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor as a "brutal, Bible-thumping, right-wing ideologue who hates minorities, women and cocker spaniels."

"He or she is clearly outside the mainstream of American values," said Sen. Kennedy. "President Bush has again ignored the Senate's 'advice and consent' role, forcing Democrats to filibuster this outrageous nominee."

The Massachusetts Senator said his aides have already discovered "reams of memos" showing that the man or woman Mr. Bush will appoint has "a history of abusing subordinates, dodging military service, hiring undocumented workers, spanking his or her children and rolling back the clock on human rights to the days when the Pharaohs ruled Egypt with an iron fist."

Y'know, if we didn't already know that Scrappleface was a humor site with a reputation for wild news stories, I'm sure many folks would think this to be true.

Posted by mhking at July 4, 2005 09:14 AM | TrackBack

If Bush nominated Ted Kennedy, will Kennedy's head explode?

Posted by: Laurence Simon at July 4, 2005 09:56 AM

Here we go again, they are trying to pick the nominee for Bush. Don't they know by now he doesn't listen to them.

BTW Bush should nominate Kennedy to the bench.....think about it....A borking of the magnitude that has never been seen before.

Posted by: Sgt Fluffy at July 4, 2005 01:51 PM

Hey, Scrappleface is more truthful than CBS. Looks to me like they raided the desks of The Swimmer and the Washington ComPost.

Posted by: steveegg at July 5, 2005 05:43 PM
Post a comment

Remember personal info?