January 11, 2005

Religious Action Figures? Huh?


In the same vein as LandoverBaptist.org and Betty "I'm A Better Christian Than You" Bowers, comes the apparently fictional Jesus Christ Superstore. The primary item up for "sale" are action figures for all the world's major religions.

The Christian section includes figures of "God Almighty," complete with Kingdom-Come Kalashnikov AK-47 assault rifle and wearing the "Hallowed cloak of invulnerability." There are also figures of "The Pope" (with Holy Cross Kali sticks, 'Meek and Mild' Walther PPK handgun and wearing his blood red Vatican Assault uniform) and Jesus Christ (includes Ninja-Messiah throwing nails and Death Killer-Cross pump action over-under shotgun).

Christians aren't the only ones these folks have gone after. Buddhists (Buddha, with Fighting Staff of Meditation, Magnum66 automatic Nirvana pistol, and Invincible Holy Orange Cape of Enlightenment; and Dalhi Lama, with 'Tibetan terror'AK-12 automatic machine pistol, Magnum66 automatic Nirvana pistol (complete with transcendental silencer), also fire and forget self-enlightening laser), Hindus (Krishna, with 'Jungly Colt' 45 pistol and laser sighted automatic 'Ganesh-garnish' S&W with silencer; and Shiva, In Four-Armed warrior incarnation with Untouchable-Toucher Uzi automatic), Jews (Chief Rabbi, with 'Kosher Kill' sniper automatic handgun and Jehova mklll silencer, also Staff of the Vengeful God), and even the vaunted 'religion of peace' (The Ayatollah, with Holy Struggle SZ-924 stun gun, 'Pokem' harpoon pistol and wearing Kohmeni Midnight Warrior yashmak; "Islamic Jihad," with Smith and Islamabad SLR rifle with 'Holy Vision' laser sight and plastic explosives included; and Allah, represented by an empty box and the caption "He who may not be shown") are shown.

Each figure has a caption above it, from "Cosmic Warrior and lover of many women" above the Krishna figure to "His is the kingdom, the power and the glory" above the God Almighty figure. Some of them might be considered to be out of line ("the father, the son, and the bad motherf..." over the Jesus Christ figure), but I'm guessing that this is the "next" religious satire site to try to offend everybody. After all, their overall slogan is "Putting the fun back into fundamentalism and laughter into sectarian slaughter."

(Courtesy Scrawlville)

Posted by mhking at January 11, 2005 09:43 AM

Arron: This is by far the funniest most outrageously kick ass thing ive ever seen. If God Almighty is wielding an AK-47, we're all fucked if he sends his wrath.

Brian: I for one can say i want to buy the jesus action figure. With the death kill cross action over-under shotgun,("the father, the son, and the bad motherf..." is the greatest slogen, this has to be the coolest thing ive ever seen. If god saw these action figures he would laugh.

Dan: well all i have to say is that these action figures kick ass. the allah is the coolest one out of them the ak-17 is the best weopen ever it kicks ass.

Posted by: Arron, Brian, and Dan at March 2, 2005 01:37 PM
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