Ramblings' Journal

The 2005 Dead Pool - my "short list"

OK. This year, I'm going to enter the Dead Pool.

I missed it last year, and kicked myself for doing so.

For those of you who see this as morbid, keep in mind that as a former reporter and talk show host, I developed this sick gallows humor over the years -- working for CNN (even though it was in Sports) didn't help any; if anything, it sharpened it a bit.

Anyhow, here's my list of fifteen:

Michael Jackson -- I really think he'll do himself in before the end of next year. IMO, the trial will end up getting to him, especially as some of the really sick stuff starts to come out.

Keith Richards -- He already looks like he's been embalmed, why not finish the job?

Gerald Ford -- Notice that you haven't seen ol' Gerry lately -- not even at the unveiling of Bubba's Presidential Double-Wide last month.

Pope John Paul II -- The Vatican (and all the networks) has been getting ready for this for hte past several years. Nothing cynical to say here; just looking at the Holy Writing on the Wall.

Abe Vigoda -- I didn't realize he was still alive! I remember Fish from Barney Miller; wasn't he old then!?

Robert "Sheets" Byrd -- Couldn't happen to a nicer klansman-turned-moonbat.

Courtney Love -- Why isn't she dead already!? I'm convinced that her internal gas tank is blinking "empty" (along with what passes for her brain), it just hasn't coughed it's last yet.

Osama Bin Laden -- OK, I'll finally admit that Osama Yo Mama is still alive, but he can't run from the eternal celestial 7-11 forever.

Pervez Musharaf -- I really think some Islamakazi is gonna nail Pakistan's president. It's not like they haven't been trying.

Kim Jong-Il -- Headline: "Crazy dictator pushes starving subjects too far, subjects bite back." 'Nuff said.

Abu Al-Zarqawi -- With every tom, dick & harry in Iraq looking for this goon, someone's gonna nail him. Soon.

Richard Pryor -- A hard life and multiple schlerosis have taken their toll on poor Rich.

James Doohan -- Scotty has made his last personal appearance, and dementia is setting in. I don't think he can engineer his way out of eternity.

Ted "Jabba the Drunk" Kennedy -- Pickled liver, pickled brain, pickled Ted.

William Rehnquist -- Once he steps down from the Bench, he won't be long.

There are at least two others I'd love to add as bonus picks if I could: Rosa Parks, who sadly is suffering from dementia also; Ariel Sharon, who is bigger'n I am, but is ducking and dodging folks trying to kill him on a daily basis.

If you want to join the pool, you've got until the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve to pick 15 of your own and get 'em in. Laurence has all the rules over at The Dead Pool, as well as a list of prizes for the taking.

Posted by mhking at December 17, 2004 12:12 PM